June 13th 2015. A day I will never forget. One of the best but also one of the saddest and most emotional days of my life. The day I had to say goodbye to my dance studio.
Now this may seem rather melodramatic of me. You're probably thinking something along the lines of "Calm down Alyssa, it's a dance studio, not that big of a deal." Wrong. It is a big deal. It's the biggest deal ever. Like a huge deal. A ginormous deal. A magnormous deal (ya, that's a word now). But I think you get my point. For me, this is hard. Really hard.
About six years ago I decided it was time to move on from taking dance classes at my church. I knew there was a dance studio about five minutes from my house but hadn't checked into it as when I was young I wanted to take classes with my friends. But I thought I'd give it a shot. My mum and I dropped in to meet the teacher (Jill) and watch a class. Little did I know that I was meeting someone who would become much more than just a teacher to me.
Soon after that I started attending classes at Laurel Valley School of Dance Art. Best. Decision. Ever.
At the same time my little brother also started taking the creative movement class. During his class I would sit and wait for him so that mum didn't have to wait there. A couple weeks into the term Jill turns to me and asks if I want to help her with the class since I was sitting there anyways. And that was the beginning of some of the happiest times of my life. I've never once regretted hopping out of my chair and teaching those little ones.
About three years ago I started developing major joint problems, every time I would dance (or do any other strenuous activity) I was in major pain. I knew I couldn't continue dancing as much as I was. And so for a whole year I cut back to only teaching. I wasn't dancing at my level but at least I was still able to be at my studio. Eventually I started slowly adding in classes again. Bit by bit I worked back to being able to dance more. Jill would modify combinations and make up special ones just to strengthen specific muscles to help me. She never once pushed me to do anything that would cause me pain, or even discomfort. I got to the point where I could take lyrical and a fairly basic ballet class that didn't perform.
Sometime this fall Jill looked at me and said "why don't you come in for the second half of class and than you can perform with us". I looked at her in shock. Wait, I could do that? Really? Well than YASSS! No strenuous bar which kills my body, just center floor which I could do fairly easily without pain. I was back in the game. Performance here I come!
But than reality struck. We moved. Moved from being less than five minutes from my studio to being about 1 1/2 hours from it. "Pshhh we can do the drive, it's not that bad" I said. And well we did, for over three months. But after those three months I realized that I couldn't continue doing that drive. It was taking up too much of my time and I needed to focus on other things. I had to make a hard decision. I had to say goodbye.
Goodbye to one of the best things in my life. Goodbye to people I had spent hours of every week with for five years. Goodbye to a family really. And I knew I was going to miss them. But it had to be done.
And so this year was my last performance with LVSDA. And my school did everything possible to make it memorable for me.
The first half of the performance was a school wide ballet: Appalachian springs. When I told Jill I was officially leaving she wanted to give me a special solo to say goodbye. And so at the very end of the ballet the whole school was on the stage, I slowly made my way to the front of the stage and called my little classes up one at a time. First creative movement, they come up, they make a circle around me, we bow our thank you's to each other and they slowly exit the stage. Than Ballet one comes up, makes a circle around me, we arabesque together then bow our thank you's before they walk off. And then ballet two does the same, they make their circle, we make our bows and then they leave the stage. And then slowly two by two the rest of the dancers leave the stage. Leaving me all alone in the center of the stage. The lights went a dark blue/ purple color leaving the atmosphere rather sad. I slowly finish the dance, take my final pose, the lights dim, the curtain closes, it is finished.
I barely held myself together through that. As my little students circled around me I felt my lips trembling, as the rest of the students left the stage I felt a tear roll down my face, as the curtains started to close I felt the sobs coming, and as the stage went dark and the curtains fully closed I broke down. But the thought of my stage makeup running down my face made me pull myself together. I had to be back out on that stage in just a couple moments for teacher introductions and I wasn't about to cry on stage in front of everyone (ha!).
After all the teachers were introduced the microphone was handed to Jill. She commenced to talk about me. Little old me. At this point I can't remember most of what she said, I was half in shock. She said some of the sweetest things I've ever heard said about me. I cried. And when I say cried I don't mean a single tear rolled down my face, no I mean I legit sobbed. The words that most stick out to me was when she said "Alyssa is like a sister to me". I think that's where I completely lost it. At the end of her speech, she asked the audience to give me a round of applause, I have never received that loud of applause for anything I've done before. I feel like writing this all for you to read is self-centered but I don't mean it to be. This isn't about "I'm awesome look at me", this is about how much love is in our little community.
But back to the story. Jill than handed me a gift from the school. A pair of my old pointe shoes signed by all of my fellow dancers.
And a framed picture signed by each of my students.
And that's when I just couldn't hold it together anymore. I hugged Jill and all I could get out was a very broken "thank you, thank you so much". After that I just got off the stage as fast as I could. When I left the stage and got back to the dressing room I fell into my dear friend and fellow dancer's arms. As I got myself back together several other of my fellow dancers came and gave me huge hugs. I'm going to miss them at all so much.
Now at this point my biggest problem was I was sobbing, my makeup was a mess and we were only at intermission. I had to make it through the second half on the performance. And because, well, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do I pulled myself together, reapplied my makeup and got ready to go back onstage.
I made it through the second half of the performance with no tears. I'd like to say with no mishaps but well this is me we're talking about. About two seconds after I go on stage to perform en pointe I got the worst foot cramp ever. I don't get foot cramps! So what was this, just some special little surprise for me? Wow, thanks body, you're the best. But I succeeded in smiling my way through the dance while making it look like I wasn't about to die (I hope).
With the performance over the time had come to say goodbye. Or rather to take my leave for a short period of time as I told myself. I'd be back to visit so it wasn't a real goodbye. Yup, I hate "fake" goodbye's just as much as real goodbyes. You gotta remember some of these people I've been seeing 1-3 times a week for five years. They're like sisters.
One of the girls I've danced with since the beginning has a thing about hugs. No not a "HUG ME PLEASE" thing like I do, but a "Don't you dare touch me" thing. For years I've been sneaking up behind her and hugging her, poking her, hugging her when she's not paying attention and just honestly doing whatever I could do annoy her. I don't remember a single time I've ever seen her voluntarily hug someone. But after the performance she comes running up to me and gives me the biggest hug ever. Not just a awkward quick hug, no this was a real hug. A "let me squeeze you and hold you tight for a really long time" hug. And the waterworks start again...
Nikki: Do I really have to say goodbye to this one? She and I have had the best times in class together. We goof off (sorry Jill), we talk, we dance (might be scary to watch at times). We were awesome together. Might have been torture to have in class but hey, we always learned what we needed to, right? I will miss this girl so much. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder throughout the whole performance. You're the best.
Jill spent most of the day not even looking at me. At one point she said "If I don't make eye contact with you don't be annoyed, it's just because I can't or I'll start crying." Even when I went to give her a gift and say thank you for everything she would barely look me in the eye. I'll be back to visit Jill, I promise! And I'll help with all the performances and hey, I'll even drop in for some classes on occasion. Thank you for everything, for your teaching, your love of dance, your friendship and your mentoring. You gave me so many amazing opportunities while I was at LVSDA and I will never forget them. Thank you for everything you taught me, whether that be dance related or not. I learned so many valuable lessons from you. Thank you.
And so another chapter of my life has closed. But I will not cry, I will not despair, I will go on and read the remaining chapters with joy in my eyes. And if I ever feel lonely, or sad I'll go back and reread a bit of this chapter, as I'm sure it will remain one of my favorites until the day I die.
~Alyssa <3
