Requiescat in Pace

Sometimes you're prepared other times you're not...

Late last night we got a call from one of my Nonna's friends in Italy, we understood that Nonna was in the hospital and not in a good condition, but as the friend only spoke Italian, we could not really understand. We finally got a hold of an American cousin who lives in Italy and is fluent in Italian and got him to contact the Hospital. After what felt like hours of waiting, and praying a Rosary, the phone finally rang...

Nonna was dead. She had passed away not long before that from a heart attack. 

We all broke down crying. It was unexpected. She was in good health other than her spine collapsing (due to polio at a young age) and putting pressure on her organs. She was always delicate, but strong at the same time. We knew she was getting on, but we thought she had more time. No one was expecting this, no one could quite comprehend it. 

My Nonna was an amazing person.

She moved to Italy not long after I was born. She felt at home there and wanted to go back to her roots. She came back for visits, but never moved back to the US. She loved Italy, she loved the culture. Sometimes, she could almost speak Italian better than English, or would slip Italian words into her conversations with us without even knowing it. 

She was an exceptional woman. At a young age she contracted polio (the year before the vaccine came out), she spent months in the hospital and in doctor's offices. At a young age she was put through tremendous pain and suffering. The doctor's said she would never be able to have children, and didn't expect her to be able to walk ever again. Well let me tell you this, she had eight children and walked her whole life, only rarely, later in life, using a wheelchair. If that isn't spunk and determination, I don't know what is. 

I remember, when ever she laughed, she always stuck her tongue out between her teeth a little bit. When I was a little, I wanted to laugh just like her and would mimic her. It was the most endearing laugh, it made you want to laugh with her. When I was little she patiently taught the oh so impatient granddaughter that I was to crochet. Oh the time it took. But she was always patient with me, and put up with my lack of focus. She always made me feel loved. She never judged, snapped, or looked disapproving. She always loved, supported and cared. She was the perfect Nonna.

I will always miss my Nonna.

I never got to say goodbye. We never know how long we have with our loved ones. Life is uncertain. I kept telling myself that I would see her when I went to Italy next year. I would hear all of her stories about Italy and our family, about all our relatives and the past. I would have plenty of time than to really bond with her and get to know her better. I used all of this as an excuse to not take the time to Skype with her when I was busy, not send her emails to update her on life, not take the time to ask her how she was.

I regret every moment I placed my busy schedule before her. I should have taken the time to listen to her stories and talk to her when I had the chance. I will never hear her voice again. I will never see her smile again. I will never feel her hugs again. I will never be able to speak with her again.

Time is short, life is not guaranteed. Go hug your loved ones, spend time with your grandparents, tell your family how much they mean to you. Every moment you spend selfishly, you will regret. Give your time generously to those who love you, you will be grateful when the time comes when you no longer can give them your time. 

I love you so much Nonna, I know you'll be in heaven soon if you already aren't. You were a beautiful, strong woman who inspired me more than I ever let you know. You suffered so much in this life, you deserve to be happy in the next. I wish I had spent more time with you,  I wish I had told you more often how much I loved you, I wish you had just a little more time on earth so I could have said goodbye. I miss you so much. I hope one day to see you again. But until then, I hope you are looking down on me and smiling. I love you. 



Please pray for the repose of the soul of my Nonna, Karen Prati.

Also, please keep my her siblings, children, grandchildren and friends in your prayers in this time of grief. Her funeral will be this Saturday, In Italy. Both my mother, and sister (and other extended family members) have flown over to make arrangements and attend the funeral. Please keep their safe travel in your prayers. 

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon her.

May she rest in peace.

Amen.

May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God,

rest in peace.

Amen.

~Alyssa <3

Reflections on Love and Friendship

Much has happened over the past few months, some good, some bad. Some days it felt as though the bad far outweighed the good, but I have come to realize that no matter what may be weighing me down in life, no matter what painful situations may arise, no matter what discomfort I may experience, the good in life always outweighs the bad.

I want to share with you a few of the things I have learned this past year about relationships. Most of them are probably common sense and few (if any) will be a real revelation. But each one of these has greatly affected my life and has shaped me into who I am today. I am far from done growing spiritually and emotionally, but each of these things is an important step in me learning to live a happy, peaceful life, full of true friendships.


1. Friends change. This past year I have lost many friends, some due to distance, different places in life, and growing up, but others due to more painful circumstances. There were many times I felt alone. I felt like I was losing everyone I cared about and everyone who I had thought cared about me. But I have come to realize that the only times I cried alone were the times I chose to cry alone. True friends were always there, I just had to suck up my pride and go to them. Growing up happens, moving on happens, friendships change, and that is okay. It's healthy and normal and without it we would forever be stuck as the people we used to be. With the loss of some people I never thought I would lose, I have deepened relationships with people who truly care about me and wish the best for me and who I might never have become friends with without the loss of other people. Losing friendships has been a painful blessing in disguise.


2. Manipulation is never okay. If you find yourself feeling manipulated by a friend and they do not respect your honesty in speaking to them about it, you have the right to walk away. The person may not admit, or even realize they are manipulating you, but that is not what is important. Their intentions are not what matters, what matters is how it affects you. If you feel manipulated, their actions, no matter how innocent, must change or they are not thinking of your best interest.

3. Always be kind. This is one I admit that I struggle with at times. It's so much easier to only think about oneself and not worry about how other people feel. But that is a selfish way to live one's life and it will never lead to happiness. I have seen some of my "friends", who are good Christian people, act in terribly unkind, unjust ways. I feel sick even thinking about how some of these people have treated others. Every single person is worthy of love, and has dignity. No one deserves to be treated poorly. Going out of one's way to say hi to a person you never particularly liked, or just didn't have much in common with, can be huge. Sure it can be uncomfortable for you, but it could make that person's day. And so to friends, family, acquaintances and strangers alike, be kind. Not a fake, plastic kindness, but a one that comes from a genuine love for all humanity.

4. Forgiveness sets you free. But remember, forgiving and forgetting are separate things. Some offences should be forgotten, while others must be remembered. When a person hurts you and you can fully forgive them a sense of peace washes over you. You can feel God's grace lifting you up and healing you. Every single person deserves forgiveness. Holding grudges will never make you happy. But this is not to say you must forget all offenses and let yourself be walked on like a doormat. You are not a doormat, you deserve more respect than that. If a person has hurt you and you do not believe that they will truly try to never commit the same offense again, you have every right to not keep them in  your life. You do not owe your friendship to anyone, it is a gift freely given, but if thrown in your face you are free to take it back.

5. Be grateful for everything. When life goes against our plans we tend to complain and blame God even. But if we were to turn every complaint into a thanksgiving to God, can you imagine how happy we would be? Trust that God knows what He's doing, He will always give you the strength you need to carry your cross. He will never give you a burden you cannot carry. Trust in God, and trust yourself. It's alright to be upset and to hurt, but thank God for those emotions and you feel the burden become a little lighter. Thank God for the opportunities he gives you, no matter how unpleasant they may seem at the time. But also, don't forget God when life is going well. Remember to thank Him for the good and not to take it for granted.



I want to close this post with some thank you's. Some to God and some to friends and family.

Thank you God for the pain and hurt. Thank you for the lost friends. Thank you for the sadness and the sleepless nights. Thank you for the strength to overcome the trials you send to me. Thank you for the opportunities to learn and to grow as a person. Thank you for the true friends you send to me to help me and love me. Thank you for the undying love of my family. Thank you for the good interspersed with the bad. Thank you for the happy days full of love and joy. Thank you for everything. Thank you God for loving me.

  

To my family, thank you for always being there to listen to me and to give me advice. Thank you for holding me close while I cry on your shoulders. Thank you for not giving up on me when I'm exasperatingly slow at moving on from hurt. Thank you for loving me.

To my friends, thank you for not giving up on our friendships. Thank you for letting me get mascara stains on your shirts. Thank you for plotting adventures to cheer me up. Thank you for always being there for me to talk to when I'm upset. Thank you for offering to kick my haters butts. Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for sticking around even when my life is messy. Thank you for loving me.

~Alyssa

All Hallows Eve

For some people Halloween is a time to dress up in sexy costumes, go to parties, eat lots of candy and get spooked. But my Halloween was slightly different. It was a day to stay home, dress up in a comfy onsie and make doughnuts.
I think the majority of the world will agree with me when I say doughnuts are fantastic. They just are. There's no arguing with the facts. But, store bought doughnuts are also fantastically bad for you. And let's be real, they taste fake. Please don't kill me for saying that.
It has been around three years since I've had a store bought doughnut and over a year since I've had a homemade one... Scary, right? It's also lovely though. But yes, I have been craving doughnuts lately. They always look so yummy, yet sooo gross too (again, sorry).
Now, of course there's a simple solution to that problem: make the doughnuts myself. It's been on my mind for weeks but between school and rehearsals I haven't had a spare moment (sad, yet true). But it being a Saturday and a holiday I had the day off from school and rehearsals (happy to have time off, but I still managed to miss the theatre).
I convinced my mum to buy be a doughnut pan because frying them in oil was just a bit too much work and a bit too...oily...for me. I found a lovely pumpkin (duh) cake doughnut recipe and threw it together (it was quite simple actually) crossing my fingers the whole time that they would taste like real doughnuts.

The pan only help six at a time, so it took a bit to cook them, but in all honesty it wasn't that bad. My sibs were watching Star Wars, Return of the Jedi, in the next room so I just popped back and forth between the two (the Ewoks are the most adorable thing ever, well next to kittens and pandas. Can I have one for a pet?).

But anyways, doughnuts...oh yes, so they got all done and I ate them. The end, right? Not quite. I've still got more to say, no trying to cut me off.
The problem with not eating doughnuts for an extended period of time is you forget exactly what they taste like. So as I'm eating my doughnut, I'm sitting there questioning it. Does it taste like a doughnut or does it just taste like some random pastry? What makes a doughnut taste like a doughnut? Ahhh! My mind was spinning from the questions! I thought I would implode! No, actually that's not really true...but I have to dramatize my life somehow... So just go with it.
I think they tasted like doughnuts, or at least decently so. I do think the baking instead of frying does make a difference though. Makes them healthier, yet also not quite exactly like a real doughnut. Humph, I'm just not sure. But who cares. It was yuuuuuuummmmyyyyy.

Oh also, they didn't rise too terribly much, which was odd. So they were rather small and pathetic looking.

And yes! This is my adorable panda onsie. I'm literally in love with it. Panda's are some of my favorite animals. They're adorable and cuddly and cute and I want one. Christmas present?! I'll keep it in my room and we can cuddle. But anyway, I may just wear this onsie for the rest of my life...so please don't expect me to ever wear real clothes again. I'm much too comfy and warm to change.

~Alyssa <3

I dub thee...

Pina Colada cake. No this post is not about dashing knights and damsels in distress. Though that might be more interesting... But I'm sorry, it's only about divine cakes and well...okay fine, you could say it's about damsels in distress.

A while back was my mum's birthday and for some reason she decided to give me free reign over the cake. No guidelines, no nothing. Just me, my mind and the internet to come up with a satisfactory cake. Hehe, yessssssss! I love the freedom that gives me, to be completely creative and not follow any set ideas.

With my mind still in Hawaii, and my stomach full from the chocolate cheesecake my mum had just made the day before, I decided on a fruity slightly less overly-sweet cake. But than I looked at the fruit we had in the house...apples...for some reason that was all the fresh fruit we had. Apple cakes though very good, are boring. Been there, done that, you know what I mean? So I stuck my head (and shoulders) into the freezer and dug around until I found the frozen fruit: a few mixed berries, some blueberries and pineapple. And that's when it hit me in the face (no not literally, I'm not THAT clumsy...), I wanted some pineapple...and some coconut. Because...well sometimes you just get these cravings and you just have to satisfy them. Like at 2am when you just need some chocolate ice cream and you have to sneak into the kitchen and grab the tub and a spoon and satisfy the craving so you can get back to sleep (don't try to deny that this has happened to you before, we all know you're lying.)

Back to the cake though. I found a splendid, moist pineapple cake that called for canned pineapple and pineapple juice. And well, all I had was frozen pineapple. Improvising time! Did you know if you put boiling water in with frozen pineapple it ends up kinda making pineapple juice? Sort of... Good enough anyways :P

The recipe called for a vanilla seven minute frosting (basically just egg whites and sugar all whipped up). I mean booooooorriiiiiiing, right? Can I get an amen?! Besides, it's a waste of egg whites in my oh so humble opinion. Just kidding, it's not humble. Who am I kidding?  No one Alyssa, you're not kidding anyone. Fair enough... Now be quiet so I can move on.

Anywho...I went and grabbed a decent looking coconut cream cheese frosting recipe and whipped that up. And than I tasted it...and grabbed a spoon and made my mum taste it. I believe she muttered a "that is divine" as she drooled over the delectable mouthful. Stop exaggerating Alyssa! Your mum didn't drool and say that. Stop sensible voice in my head! You're ruining the story. But fine, she wasn't drooling per-say...but she did call it divine. And I completely agree. It was fantastic. Quite possibly the best frosting I've ever tasted. I'm sorry for all you coconut haters, you're missing out big time here.

And the best part? There are leftovers. Hehehe...totally not going to eat them whenever I get sad... Nooo... I wouldn't do that... Pshh, who do you take me for?

But yes, all put together the cake was fabulous. Not too overly sweet, which is always lovely. You don't want to finish your piece of cake and than feel like you're going to be sick. Or get that sugar coated feeling in your mouth that makes you feel dehydrated but water does nothing to help... Know what I mean? It's gross.

This cake was honestly one of my favorite cakes ever. And this leads to the damsel in distress part...To eat the whole cake and not share or be the kind, proper person and only eat a piece? Humph, I hate logic. I mean give me one good nice illogical reason that I can't take that cake to my room and consume the whole thing while I cry tears of joy? One illogical reason and I'll probably agree with you. But all this logic of "you'll be sick", "that's not nice", "sharing is caring", "no one should eat that much cake". I mean just stop talking mind. I'm not listening. Or rather I am and I don't like what I hear. But fine, fine, yes I did share the cake. I mean it was for my mum's birthday... So I kind of had to... But forget that part. Lets just attribute it to the goodness of my heart instead. That's much more flattering. And a little (a lot rather) flattery is always good.

~Alyssa <3

End of Summer Basil Harvest

Earlier this summer when I was wandering around Trader Joe's (like a kid in a candy store, I absolutely love TJ's) I found a basil plant. And I took that basil plant home with me, I planted him in my garden and I named him Basil.
I've borrowed a few leaves from him over the summer to make pesto or put on pizza but the summer is drawing to a close now and Basil was going to seed. It was time to say goodbye to Basil, he had lived a good life, but it was drawing to a close.

With tears in my eyes I began to harvest basil. I slowly picked every single one of his fragrant leaves and I breathed in their delicious aroma.

Goodbye Basil, I'll miss you. But you will taste seriously amazing so maybe I won't miss you too much... Sorry.

Now what to do with two buckets of basil you might ask? Pesto, duh. Eight recipes of it. Mmmm!

  All picked through, washed and ready to be used. I had to throw out a considerable amount because of how old some of it was. Really it should have been picked when I was sunbathing on the beaches of hawaii...priorities.

Yes, that is four cups of Romano cheese. Hehe, so much cheese, but you know what? It's worth every little bit of it. 

The finished product. I shipped one batch off with my parents for a party they were going to. Yes I did share my pesto. Amazing, right? Shocking too. 

I froze the rest to be pulled out on rainy, depressing days this winter when I really need a bit of cheering up. So maybe, just maybe if you come visit me this winter I'll pull out some pesto and we'll sit around shivering, crying and eating pesto. 

~Alyssa <3

Goodbye...

June 13th 2015. A day I will never forget. One of the best but also one of the saddest and most emotional days of my life. The day I had to say goodbye to my dance studio.

Now this may seem rather melodramatic of me. You're probably thinking something along the lines of "Calm down Alyssa, it's a dance studio, not that big of a deal." Wrong. It is a big deal. It's the biggest deal ever. Like a huge deal. A ginormous deal. A magnormous deal (ya, that's a word now). But I think you get my point. For me, this is hard. Really hard.

About six years ago I decided it was time to move on from taking dance classes at my church. I knew there was a dance studio about five minutes from my house but hadn't checked into it as when I was young I wanted to take classes with my friends. But I thought I'd give it a shot. My mum and I dropped in to meet the teacher (Jill) and watch a class. Little did I know that I was meeting someone who would become much more than just a teacher to me. 

Soon after that I started attending classes at Laurel Valley School of Dance Art. Best. Decision. Ever. 

At the same time my little brother also started taking the creative movement class. During his class I would sit and wait for him so that mum didn't have to wait there. A couple weeks into the term Jill turns to me and asks if I want to help her with the class since I was sitting there anyways. And that was the beginning of some of the happiest times of my life. I've never once regretted hopping out of my chair and teaching those little ones.

About three years ago I started developing major joint problems, every time I would dance (or do any other strenuous activity) I was in major pain. I knew I couldn't continue dancing as much as I was. And so for a whole year I cut back to only teaching. I wasn't dancing at my level but at least I was still able to be at my studio. Eventually I started slowly adding in classes again. Bit by bit I worked back to being able to dance more. Jill would modify combinations and make up special ones just to strengthen specific muscles to help me. She never once pushed me to do anything that would cause me pain, or even discomfort. I got to the point where I could take lyrical and a fairly basic ballet class that didn't perform.

Sometime this fall Jill looked at me and said "why don't you come in for the second half of class and than you can perform with us". I looked at her in shock. Wait, I could do that? Really? Well than YASSS! No strenuous bar which kills my body, just center floor which I could do fairly easily without pain. I was back in the game. Performance here I come!

But than reality struck. We moved. Moved from being less than five minutes from my studio to being about 1 1/2 hours from it. "Pshhh we can do the drive, it's not that bad" I said. And well we did, for over three months. But after those three months I realized that I couldn't continue doing that drive. It was taking up too much of my time and I needed to focus on other things. I had to make a hard decision. I had to say goodbye.

Goodbye to one of the best things in my life. Goodbye to people I had spent hours of every week with for five years. Goodbye to a family really. And I knew I was going to miss them. But it had to be done.

And so this year was my last performance with LVSDA. And my school did everything possible to make it memorable for me.

The first half of the performance was a school wide ballet: Appalachian springs. When I told Jill I was officially leaving she wanted to give me a special solo to say goodbye. And so at the very end of the ballet the whole school was on the stage, I slowly made my way to the front of the stage and called my little classes up one at a time. First creative movement, they come up, they make a circle around me, we bow our thank you's to each other and they slowly exit the stage. Than Ballet one comes up, makes a circle around me, we arabesque together then bow our thank you's before they walk off. And then ballet two does the same, they make their circle, we make our bows and then they leave the stage. And then slowly two by two the rest of the dancers leave the stage. Leaving me all alone in the center of the stage. The lights went a dark blue/ purple color leaving the atmosphere rather sad. I slowly finish the dance, take my final pose, the lights dim, the curtain closes, it is finished.

I barely held myself together through that. As my little students circled around me I felt my lips trembling, as the rest of the students left the stage I felt a tear roll down my face, as the curtains started to close I felt the sobs coming, and as the stage went dark and the curtains fully closed I broke down. But the thought of my stage makeup running down my face made me pull myself together. I had to be back out on that stage in just a couple moments for teacher introductions and I wasn't about to cry on stage in front of everyone (ha!).

After all the teachers were introduced the microphone was handed to Jill. She commenced to talk about me. Little old me. At this point I can't remember most of what she said, I was half in shock. She said some of the sweetest things I've ever heard said about me. I cried. And when I say cried I don't mean a single tear rolled down my face, no I mean I legit sobbed. The words that most stick out to me was when she said "Alyssa is like a sister to me". I think that's where I completely lost it. At the end of her speech, she asked the audience to give me a round of applause, I have never received that loud of applause for anything I've done before. I feel like writing this all for you to read is self-centered but I don't mean it to be. This isn't about "I'm awesome look at me", this is about how much love is in our little community.

But back to the story. Jill than handed me a gift from the school. A pair of my old pointe shoes signed by all of my fellow dancers.

And a framed picture signed by each of my students.

And that's when I just couldn't hold it together anymore. I hugged Jill and all I could get out was a very broken "thank you, thank you so much". After that I just got off the stage as fast as I could. When I left the stage and got back to the dressing room I fell into my dear friend and fellow dancer's arms. As I got myself back together several other of my fellow dancers came and gave me huge hugs. I'm going to miss them at all so much.

Now at this point my biggest problem was I was sobbing, my makeup was a mess and we were only at intermission. I had to make it through the second half on the performance. And because, well, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do I pulled myself together, reapplied my makeup and got ready to go back onstage.

I made it through the second half of the performance with no tears. I'd like to say with no mishaps but well this is me we're talking about. About two seconds after I go on stage to perform en pointe I got the worst foot cramp ever. I don't get foot cramps! So what was this, just some special little surprise for me? Wow, thanks body, you're the best. But I succeeded in smiling my way through the dance while making it look like I wasn't about to die (I hope).

With the performance over the time had come to say goodbye. Or rather to take my leave for a short period of time as I told myself. I'd be back to visit so it wasn't a real goodbye. Yup, I hate "fake" goodbye's just as much as real goodbyes. You gotta remember some of these people I've been seeing 1-3 times a week for five years. They're like sisters.

One of the girls I've danced with since the beginning has a thing about hugs. No not a "HUG ME PLEASE" thing like I do, but a "Don't you dare touch me" thing. For years I've been sneaking up behind her and hugging her, poking her, hugging her when she's not paying attention and just honestly doing whatever I could do annoy her. I don't remember a single time I've ever seen her voluntarily hug someone. But after the performance she comes running up to me and gives me the biggest hug ever. Not just a awkward quick hug, no this was a real hug. A "let me squeeze you and hold you tight for a really long time" hug. And the waterworks start again...

Nikki: Do I really have to say goodbye to this one? She and I have had the best times in class together. We goof off (sorry Jill), we talk, we dance (might be scary to watch at times). We were awesome together. Might have been torture to have in class but hey, we always learned what we needed to, right? I will miss this girl so much. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder throughout the whole performance. You're the best.

Jill spent most of the day not even looking at me. At one point she said "If I don't make eye contact with you don't be annoyed, it's just because I can't or I'll start crying." Even when I went to give her a gift and say thank you for everything she would barely look me in the eye. I'll be back to visit Jill, I promise! And I'll help with all the performances and hey, I'll even drop in for some classes on occasion. Thank you for everything, for your teaching, your love of dance, your friendship and your mentoring. You gave me so many amazing opportunities while I was at LVSDA and I will never forget them. Thank you for everything you taught me, whether that be dance related or not. I learned so many valuable lessons from you. Thank you.

And so another chapter of my life has closed. But I  will not cry, I will not despair, I will go on and read the remaining chapters with joy in my eyes. And if I ever feel lonely, or sad I'll go back and reread a bit of this chapter, as I'm sure it will remain one of my favorites until the day I die.

~Alyssa <3

Birthday Buzz

Yes, I am 18! I know my b-day was two weeks ago, so yes I know I am dreadfully behind in announcing this wonderful fact. But you know I've been busy...okay fine in reality we all know that that is just an excuse and I'm really just a lazy little person who deserves a nice hug and pat on the back. Or maybe a slap but I'll go with the hug.

But enough of that. Yes, I am an adult. I don't know how I feel about this. Half of me says "eww" and the other says "aww ya!". So basically it comes down to me being a conflicted mess who just needs to realize that she has no choice in the matter and needs to accept it and move on. Do I know this? Yes. Am I going to follow my own advice? Haha, no.

I wasn't really in a... well, celebratory mood this year. I wanted a low key birthday. I really just wanted a day to chill. Did I follow through with that? Well not completely but sort of.

I woke up early and after getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup I left my room and went out to get breakfast. When I got to the dinning room I saw a box on the table. When I went to open it I saw a piece of paper. I barely read any of it before I started sobbing. I didn't even know exactly who it was from until hour later. I knew it was friends but I couldn't see the names through my tears. As I looked through the box full of my favorite things I kept trying to go back and read it so I could see who was so amazing, but every object I looked at brought about a fresh wave of tears. Yes, I am an emotional person who cries when people are kind to me. It was an amazing present. The hugest of "thank you's" to my dear friends who put that together for me. I love you all so much more than you'll ever know. Ya'll are amazing.

After going back to my room and wiping the mascara off my cheeks and reapplying all my makeup (thanks guys ;P) we headed off to mass (best way to start a birthday, or any day really). That afternoon I went and saw Cinderella with a darling friend (sister from a different mister rather) of mine. I can't believe I waited so long to see that movie. I absolutely adored it. Not only was there a lack of anything "bad" in it, it was full of "good". Do you get what I mean? I feel like so much of the time I end up watching movies only because there's nothing "bad" in them, not because of the "good of the movie". I can say without a qualm in my heart that I was 100% pleased with Cinderella. Fangirled over it. The acting was brilliant, my only complaint is that they made it without waiting for me. Seriously they should have waited a bit and casted me instead of Lily James. ;)

After the movie I came home and baked my cake with my mum. I think that's my favorite part of my birthday. Just spending time with my mum baking.
My cake this year? Well I didn't take any pictures...sorry. It was too boring looking. But! That does not mean it was a boring tasting cake. It was an amazing cake, a splendid cake and a perfectly me cake. Carrot cake. I love that stuff.

I have been craving a good piece of carrot cake for months. It all started a while back when they had a carrot cake sample at New Seasons. I tasted heaven that day. It had been much too long since I had eaten something that... well, perfect. When I was younger I had carrot cake for my birthday for at least three years in a row, but than my tastes changed and I wanted something... fancier. So for years, I dabbled around in different cakes, mainly focusing on the decorating. But this year to go with my simplistic wants I went with a very simple carrot cake, no decorations no fluffy unnecessary sugar. Just a simple carrot cake with a whipped cream dream cheese frosting.

Now I know almost any carrot cake recipe would be splendid, but my favorite is the Nourishing Traditions recipe. If you're not familiar with that cookbook, it's a wonderful book. It's all about soaked grains and making food more easily digestible. The carrot cake is a very dense one. Not a light fluffy cake. Rather heavy, dance and extremely moist. Oh and did I mention, not excessively sweet? In the past we've always used a normal cream cheese frosting recipe with this cake, but I really wanted something lighter, and less sweet. So I found this great whipped cream, cream cheese frosting recipe. It only had about a quarter cup of powdered sugar in it. So barely sweet at all. I loved it. There was none of that feeling sick afterwards because of the sugar overload. Just a mouthwatering delicious semi-sweet cake. Perfection in my humble opinion.

Okay, now I'm going to shock you all. I did not blow out candles, avoided all but one awkward picture and I even avoided being sung "happy birthday" to! Yes, yes I know ya'll are probably glaring daggers at me now. "What's a birthday without candles and being sung to?" Well, it's a much less awkward event I can tell you that. No weirdly sitting there while everyone stares at you, no huffing and puffing at 18 candles that don't want to go out. It was good. And no one can tell me otherwise.

To finish the day after the kids went to bed I crashed with my parents to watch the last episode of season 5 of Downton Abbey. A very good way to finish a very good day. Now we just have to wait till September for the next season...

So to everyone who made my birthday special: Thank you. You guys continually surprise me with your love and affection. I am so blessed to have each and everyone of you in my life. You are all in my prayers and I thank God for you all. Cheers to another year!

The one exceptionally awkward photo my dad managed to capture. Enjoy. ;)

~Alyssa <3